23 Desember 2013

The Greatest Mother


This is the story about my sister.

She is actually my cousin, but we spent time together when we aren't married yet.

I know her better than any sisters I have, and she knows me better than any sisters she has.

We grew up together, and spent many hours to talk, to share many secret together.

I know what was she desired of, what was her dream to catch, what was she want to do.... and she knew the same on me too

More than seventeen years ago, she started her new life episode. A wedding.

She wed a man whom his parent's choice, a guy who looked nicely and full with smile.

I thought, she thought.... she will live happily forever with new start

But... after year by year...

I saw many problems around her.

She lost two of her children because of accidental abortion. She hurt, she cried on my hug.

But, God gave her three wonderful babies. Two daughters and one boy. She looks happy when she showed up on my wedding party.

The economic's problem was shake her family's finance. And her husband left her to work in another town. She was worked to help the house finance too...

When it happened, I thought this is the way how they fight for their household. That isn't easy to support five family members in economic crisis. So everytime we met, I gave her a cheer. 'Til, finally her husband come back with a new job, which mean he stays with family again.

I am struggle with my own marriage's problem. My husband was sick, and then... we have moved to another town. In my new house, I am too busy to take care my family, include three children, father-in-law and my husband.

Even I have many marriage's problem, but day by day, year by year... my love for family, for my husband going strong and strong. I feel so lucky to find a man like him. I love him and I love my children. I thought my sister get the same feeling after passed marriage's problems.

Now... since the children were getting older, my responsibilities little bit reduced. I have many times to call my sister, because her children were getting bigger too... I started to call my cousin, or chatted with her on Facebook, sometimes we used Skype.

So, we started to talk again. About many things, we shared a picture we made on that day, I dared her to choose a dress for my dinner, we talked and joked like two crazy little girls, we shared some of recipes that we know and tried at our own kitchen. Many... I remembered so many laugh...

And someday, my sister called me with full tears in her eyes on Skype. She didn't talk anything, even though I was yelled to her, to let me know what is going on...

The only words she said "I am going to leave my family. I want to have my live now. I am tired to play an actress for seventeen years. I am not happy with my wedding, Sis. Please help me to decided."

I was freeze. This is surprise for me. I thought she always happy, I thought she finds her love like me...

We ended the chat. My brain was full with many questions, but I knew that was a bad time to ask.

All that week since our chatting, she shared many bad experiences with her own life. How hard she struggled with the marriage's life, how she tried with all power she had to keep everything closed from her parent, how she took care the family's need lonely without any helps from her husband, how she did to make family-in-law keep happy, how she... this is hurt for me to tell... how she was hurt by her own husband with verbal cruelty.

All my respects to her husband were fly away.

What she shared, was open my eyes know.

My husband said many times that he never like my sister's husband. His attitude in front of my husband wassn't good and too rude to his own children. It was enough for him to know the beavior inside my sister's husband. Many times, my husband talked to me. But I never believe what my husband's feeling for him, until I heard from my sister. I felt guilty...

Then, she finally had courage to talk about the marriage with her husband. Finally, that man... after so many conditions will let her go. But she can't brought the children, not even one.

So... I cant help anything. The only way I thought, she needs to find the answer by herself. If she leave three children, it won't be easy for herself too. I know how hard she delivered them and she kept stay with her bad husband for many years because she love her children. I know how hard to let go the children away.

Since she already divorced, I offered her to live with me in my housetown. But she won't

She said "give me time to say goodbye to kids. I still miss them everyday. Sorry sister, I am going to go there after my kids forgive me. This is my fault to leave them. A mother shouldn't leave their kids, should you?"

I can't answer. I am not agree, but as long as she was happy with the decision...

As a writer, she is my inspiration. But I made difference story since I worried maybe her husband will find out and will blame my sister.

So, I made story with difference side. I used my main character is a husband, not a wife.

The story in Bahasa, and that story was booming on my blog, Facebook and many more social medias. I felt trouble everytime I read the story, because in that story the man was death before he found his wife loves him, but actually...

Meanwhile, we still chatted everyday. I tried my best to make her laugh everytime we talk. But... she just smile very thight... too tight. We made many plans together. Celebrate the next new year together, go shopping with only us, go travelling with my family-in-law to let her know how should family-in-law treats their daughter-in-law, and I want to bring her, to see my friends in community where she can shared her own experiences so every women will be carefully to chose the right man for her side forever.

BUT... it will never happen...

On September 2013, she was gone forever... suddenly, without notice, without any sigh... Just gone like the wind...

Later, after a month I found the reason. Possibility reason for all of her deadly sickness.

She missed her children more than we thought. She want to be a part of family again even for it, she had suffer with bad behavior from her husband. She never cared her own healthy since came out from the house. She left alone without someone who care with her and sometimes she struggled to get forgiveness and understand from her children.

She has three children. The biggest daughter is 16 years old and the youngest is 8 years. I thought that is enough for them, to let every family member who live far away from their town know include me whats happen with their mom. But they didn't.

My regret... I never tried to figure out by myself what is going on. I believed whatever she said. I should believe what my heart's feeling. I should hear what my husband said. I shouldn't think twice to come across between two provinces.

I love you, Sister... You are the reason why I share the story about you. You are a great mother, will never forgotten... I hope your children will learnt from you.

Love is not always to be together, but love is about forgiveness and caring each other.

Sorry, sister.. I miss you so much today. I dont care if your ex-husband find it, or even your children read this. I would like to show the world how much love you have for your children. Let the world know, a mother will kill theirself to make sure their children happy.


(22nd December 2013, The Indonesian Mother's Day)

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